I wasn't going to put this out here but I guess I have to share some personal things with my "confessions". Today's confession is about dodging a bullet.
If you have been out and about in our current dating world, you know how challenging it can be. Once in a while, a nice guy comes along. This happened to me in August of 2016. I met him in at a daytime music event and wound up spending the rest of the day together. He was a few years older than me and had a son my son's age. He seemed to be doing well for himself and just a genuine guy. When I asked him what he did for a living, he paused and then said he was a city police officer.
Before I go any further, let me just say that I grew up with a stepfather who was also a police officer. I support our men in blue! I have a lot of respect for them actually. However, my stepfather was a piece of work. I will just leave it at that. He is no longer my stepfather, actually, he is now passed.
Now that I shared that little disclosure, I have to admit that whenever I meet guys who tell me they are police and I think of the potential of dating him, I get a little uneasy. There are many reasons why but probably the dangers of the job scare me off the most. However, this guy was laid back and easy to talk to. We went on several dates but I just wasn't feeling it. It was more because of me and not him. I was starting up my business, taking care of my son, and preferred to spend any free time that I had doing other things than dating. After a few dates, I told him that I was just too busy. He was actually upset about this. Not in a bad way. Just genuinely disappointed. I often questioned whether or not I gave him enough of a chance. I wanted to be attracted to him. I wanted to want to keep dating him. I didn't.
Skipping ahead to January 2017, I remember waking on New Years Day. I was tired of being single. I was feeling lonely and I didn't want to go another year without finding someone great. I started thinking of the police officer I met back in August. I questioned whether I did the right thing and considered reaching out to him. However, I really didn't want to waste his time if I just wasn't sure so I never contacted him.
Skipping ahead again to March 2017, I was sitting on my couch working and the news came on. I don't want to share the exact headline. This is now a high profile case currently happening (thus the thought for this post). I will just say that there was a group of police on a special task force who were indicted for a lot of corrupt things. I looked up at the TV and there he was. The police guy. I was beyond shocked. I couldn't believe it. No way...not him. No! I wouldn't believe it.
It is now 10 months since I heard the news and one by one, the guys on the force were coming forward and making plea deals. All but two of them have come forward. The other two, one being the one I dated, are now facing their days in court.
I got in touch with the police officers brother on Facebook to ask for his brothers address so that I could write to him. I wasn't sure what to say. I mean what do you say to someone you dated for a short time, haven't spoken to in a few months and is now sitting in jail? I decided to not write him. What kind of mother would try to keep in touch with someone who is being charged with some very serious matters? My guess is that most people would have thought "Wow, I really dodged a bullet...pun intended". I did think that myself as well. If I continued dating him, he would have suddenly been taken from my life and I probably would have been heart-broken. I now know that my decision was the best one and am grateful to have dodged the heartbreak.
The problem that I have is that I genuinely care about people. I have a very loving and soft heart and I couldn't stop thinking about him in jail so I eventually wrote to him. He was happy to hear from me but not in very good spirits. I couldn't blame him. We didn't talk about the pending charges. We mainly reminisced. We only exchanged a few letters. I was the last to write back in November and I haven't heard from him since. I have been following the news on his case. I don't know what will happen to him and there is still a part of me that doesn't believe everything I am hearing. Sometimes, we only want to remember our memories of a person and not the fact that they are not the person we thought they were.
If he gets out (which probably won't be too soon), I am guessing I will hear from him eventually. Going out on any more dates with him would not be smart. However, I can't say that I won't be here for him.
So there you have it. I dated a corrupt police officer who is now in a very high profile case. No matter what happens, I will remember him as the nice guy that he was. Lesson learned: good guy on the outside doesn't mean good guy on the inside.
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